Not my kid, but close enough. (Credit: Parents.com)

I’d formally like to apologize to all parents who I (when single or as a childless married) once unkindly derided as they bemoaned the horrors of the “Terrible Twos.” I was wrong. I knew not of what I snarked.

Karma is now kicking my ass. Besides being worn out from our daily lives of work, getting through the holidays and keeping house, Mrs. Simon and I haven’t seen each other naked since Halloween–and that was by accident. Sadly, I think we both looked away as if we had just accidentally seen a stranger at the changing room at Macy’s.

Simon Says: this part of parenting is a real drag. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go scoop up a puddle of toddler from the kitchen floor–she’s upset because she got the wrong color of “Froot Roll-Up.”