I think it’s coming back slowly. I went to the doctor yesterday.
My blood pressure was normal for the first time in months.
A good sign for the return of the groove…
Archive for the ‘Career’ Category
The Groove Returning?
Tuesday, August 10th, 2010Simon Says
Sunday, July 18th, 2010
- Hot dogs: any combination of mustard, relish, onions, chili and cheese. Never ketchup or avocado or any other cute bullshit.
- If you sign up for a website that publishes your attempts at fiction, you cannot post a new first draft every five fucking minutes and expect me to ooh and ahh over it like you’re bloody Shakespeare.
- Learn to spell or use your damn spell check while you’re at it.
- Hey, if there’s a red light 500 yards ahead, why the hell are you racing to get ahead of me only to stop at the freaking light? You know what kind of gas mileage you get at a stoplight? ZERO.
- If you drive a Hummer, massive pickup or some other large vehicle and you are not in the infantry, a farmer, a landscaper or someone who otherwise requires a large “fuck you” vehicle: I say you deserve to pay a big tax–and not just at the gas pump. You get a dumb-ass tax, to be exact. And everyone else gets the right to give you the finger.
- If you watch “professional wrestling” don’t whine to me that your kids are ill-behaved, poorly-read and prone to broken bones.
- If you vote Republican and make less than $500,000 per year, you’re a dumb ass. Why? Because they don’t give a shit about you unless you have money. And if you vote Republican because you think they are morally superior then you have been fully hoodwinked and deserve whatever kick in the ass they give you.
- Sarah Palin is a mendacious idiot. But crafty at taking advantage of other idiots, I must say.
- If you vote Democrat and expect them to be anything more than ‘Republican Lite’ these days, you’re in for a lot of disappointments. FDR’s been dead a long time. BHO is a good man but ain’t no Roosevelt.
- I know a gay white man who hates all black people. Just goes to show you there’s no unity between groups which suffer discrimination.
- Think climate change is a hoax? You’re wrong and on behalf of my children I want to say fuck you for making it that much harder for them.
- You want a hoax? Trickle down economics.
- “Two and a Half Men” is terrible dreck. Read a book.
- Nepotism sucks, especially when it imbues the untalented with wealth and success. I’m talking to you Charlie Sheen, Colin Hanks, Donny Trump, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow and many others too infuriating to mention.
- Would it kill you to shut up during the movie?
- Please don’t try to tell me who God is. You have no idea and neither do I.
- If you are lucky enough to get away with something you shouldn’t, please don’t tell me about it. You know who you are.
- Fat? Exercise and watch what you eat. Every day. Don’t give up.
- Smoking. I don’t smoke, but it’s none of my business if you want to open a joint that caters to smokers. I won’t patronize it, but knock yourself out.
- Want to ride a motorcycle without a helmet? Fine, just make sure you have proof of insurance so I don’t have to pay to reattach your limbs after you eat asphalt.
- That said, people who are against universal healthcare should never proclaim to follow the teachings of Jesus, unless they are cool with being openly hypocritical.
- If you get your history from “Glenn Beck U” then perhaps you deserve it when history repeats itself all over your ass a few years from now.
- Would it kill you to be nice to people?
- Would it kill you to keep your swearing to a minimum in public?
- Would it kill you to wear some actual shoes at the supermarket?
- Removing heavy back hair is just the decent thing to do prior to your attendance of a public pool or at the beach. Ladies, you too.
- After a red light turns green, you should wait about two seconds and look both ways to avoid the jackass who will inevitably run the red light that kills or maims you or someone you love.
- If you have a blood relative who is trying to do what he/she thinks is right by running for office and you openly crap all over him/her because he’s not in the same Party as you, then you’re a jerk. You should keep your mouth shut, not actively attack him/her. Unless you’re a jerk, then go ahead and slam him/her to everyone you know. (Maybe you’re actually just jealous that him/her has the guts to try, and you never did. I dunno.)
- That guy playing music at the bar, the one working for tips? If he can’t have your full attention surely he could have a dollar or two in his tip jar from you.
- A man who pleases his wife first is a great guy. A woman who occasionally returns the favor is rare in my experience.
- People who make lists like this are often self-important jerks. (Myself excluded, of course.)
I’m No Longer Arguing That With Him: I Quit
Wednesday, July 14th, 2010If you’ve had the fortitude to stick with this blog since my first post (I’m Not Arguing That With You) you may recall I was miserable with my pathetic career choices and fantasized about changing my life…essentially getting my groove back:
But holy crap it would be so nice to just walk in and…
Well, I finally did it.
I decided to start my own business. My wife was with me 100 percent. Sure, the economy sucks ass (thanks Mr. Bush and friends) but she believes in me. (She was also probably categorically sick of my bellyaching and wanted me to get my groove back, too.)
So, for several months I planned my work and worked my plan…I ate my daily quota of shit, avoided mirrors (who needed the pitying look one gets from one’s self?) and quietly laid the ground work for my daring daylight escape.
The day finally came when I was ready. The new business incorporated, bank account open with a whopping $100, business cards printed. I even had some customers.
One task remained; one I both relished and feared.
I walked in to Mr. Waturi’s crappy little office, looked him in his piggy little eyes and told him effective immediately I was outta there.
“This life, what a joke. This situation… this room….you look like a bag of shit stuffed in a cheap suit.”
Okay, actually I didn’t say that. Instead I said thanks for a great opportunity, but I just wanted to try to do my own thing.
His mouth moved like that of a goldfish in a bowl, but no sound issued. His piggy eyes widened.
After what seemed an eternity he (and I am paraphrasing because he actually stammered around for twenty minutes–going through all the phases of grief) said:
“Please stay.” (He was stuck on the bargaining phase, I guess.)
I was totally blown away, and for a moment I indulged him in his promises to make things more tolerable; his hints at greater things to come if only I would give up another humiliating year or two of my career. If only I would let him feast on the rich moist center of my career meatloaf until all that was left was sawdust and ketchup.
But I did not waver. Instead I agreed to stay on a few months to help ease the transition. (And earn a tidy nest egg for the business to boot).
That transition has now ended and I’m happily working away at my business. Now it’s up to me to make my own dreams come true. No more fantasizing about easy ways out, either.
I have to say…it did feel good to say farewell to Mr. Waturi. I’m no longer arguing that with him. Sure, I have a totally new set of fears to conquer, but at least I’m longer waiting for my real life to begin.
I gotta get my groove back.
Step one: Take back my career.
Status: Achieved.
The dumb ass.
“Heartless” GOP Punishing the Unemployed
Monday, July 5th, 2010Excerpted from an Op-ed by economist Paul Krugman. He could not be more right:
Today, American workers face the worst job market since the Great Depression, with five job seekers for every job opening, with the average spell of unemployment now at 35 weeks. Yet the Senate went home for the holiday weekend without extending benefits. How was that possible?
The answer is that we’re facing a coalition of the heartless, the clueless and the confused. Nothing can be done about the first group, and probably not much about the second. But maybe it’s possible to clear up some of the confusion.
By the heartless, I mean Republicans who have made the cynical calculation that blocking anything President Obama tries to do — including, or perhaps especially, anything that might alleviate the nation’s economic pain — improves their chances in the midterm elections. Don’t pretend to be shocked: you know they’re out there, and make up a large share of the G.O.P. caucus.
By the clueless I mean people like Sharron Angle, the Republican candidate for senator from Nevada, who has repeatedly insisted that the unemployed are deliberately choosing to stay jobless, so that they can keep collecting benefits. A sample remark: “You can make more money on unemployment than you can going down and getting one of those jobs that is an honest job but it doesn’t pay as much. We’ve put in so much entitlement into our government that we really have spoiled our citizenry.”
Now, I don’t have the impression that unemployed Americans are spoiled; desperate seems more like it. One doubts, however, that any amount of evidence could change Ms. Angle’s view of the world — and there are, unfortunately, a lot of people in our political class just like her.
via Op-Ed Columnist – Punishing the Unemployed – NYTimes.com.
Has Toyota Lost Its Way?
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010Fascinating…I’d say it has lost its way…read on…
In spring of 2008, with the distant rumbling of financial crisis still far off, Toyota TM could be forgiven for complacency. It had just taken the title of world’s largest automaker from longtime rival General Motors MTLQQ. To most observers, this was no surprise. It had been clear for a decade that Toyota wanted to be No. 1, and that it could beat GM in just about every market, except full-size pickup trucks in the United States.
What a difference a year makes. Toyota is now reeling after historic financial losses, a change of leadership at the top, several lawsuits, and a string of recalls. These culminated last week in the humiliating announcement that the firm whose stated goal is perfection would need to service 3.8 million vehicles due to a poorly designed and potentially deadly flaw in a floor mat. This is a company that operated according to the almost mythically-revered Toyota Way, a set of management principles intended to inspire continuous improvement. But the Toyota Way is at the root of Toyota’s current woes: Perfectionism is great when you’re on the way up and your main rival is extremely imperfect. But once you’re there, staying flawless can become an ordeal, as CEO Akio Toyoda as much as admitted last week.
Toyota became No. 1 because it made cars that didn’t have to be distinctive. Instead, they fulfilled customer needs better than the competition. This was the result of Toyota Way, along with the much-envied Toyota Production System. Toyota became a contender for the top spot in the early 2000s, when it began to threaten then-No. 2 Ford F. During the ’00s, this wasn’t lost on GM. Inside the company’s headquarters at the Renaissance Center in Detroit, there were times when it seemed as if the colossus of American manufacturing had Toyota on the brain. Toyota could do small cars; it could do family sedans; it could do SUVs. And with the arrival of the Prius in 2001, it proved it could do the future. The Japanese carmaker wasn’t just capable of building better cars than GM—it was also prepared to mercilessly out-innovate No. 1.
Lloyd Blankfein And Goldman Sachs Represents Wall Street PR Crisis
Sunday, February 28th, 2010Tiger Woods is trying to fight his way back to life in the wake of a sex scandal linking him, by some accounts, to more than a dozen other women. Akio Toyoda is scrambling to salvage the auto-manufacturing firm his family founded, apologizing yet again to customers and the public in a humiliating appearance before the House Oversight Committee this week. Neither man, however, is likely to voluntarily switch places with Lloyd Blankfein, the Goldman Sachs CEO who rapidly became and remains the symbol of Wall Street in the wake of the financial crisis, and thus one of the most hated men in the country. And nothing he and Goldman's formidable PR team try to do seems able to change that.
More: Lloyd Blankfein And Goldman Sachs Represents Wall Street Pr Crisis – Industry News – Portfolio.com.
Seth Godin on What it Takes to be a Linchpin
Sunday, February 14th, 2010Seth Godin:
Well, you know, I get a lot of e-mail everyday — a couple hundred letters — and I saw in the last year or so the tone of it changing. What was happening is, you know, it’s fun to talk about strategy. It’s fun to talk about organizational concepts. But what I discovered that made me quite angry is that a large number of people had been brainwashed and abused, and tricked, and found themselves on a dead end because they had believed something about the system that just wasn’t true. And I felt like I had this moment in time where I could speak up and talk about this shift, and try, maybe just for 5 or 10% of the people who read the book, to push people to make a choice. And that’s all the book is about, is making a choice to stand out as opposed to fit in. Because what I’m seeing everywhere I look is that the people who are making that choice, not only are they more rewarded, but they’re happier.
via Seth Godin on What it Takes to be a Linchpin [INTERVIEW].
Year-End Wrap-Up Post Coming Soon, At Least By Next Year
Thursday, December 31st, 2009Been very happy to do nothing but enjoy spending time with Mrs. Simon and Kiddo. Not feeling the urge to write.
So sue me.
But I will write something early next year. Heh. I may Twitter a bit, though.
Happy New Year from the man searching for his groove.
Maybe 2010 will be the year I get it back…
Liberal Revolt on Health Care Stings White House
Friday, December 18th, 2009In the great health care debate of 2009, President Obama has cast himself as a cold-eyed pragmatist, willing to compromise in exchange for votes. Now ideology — an uprising on the Democratic left — is smacking the pragmatic president in the face.
via Liberal Revolt on Health Care Stings White House – NYTimes.com.
Good. I’m glad he’s feeling the heat. This healthcare bill is a betrayal of all who voted for this President and this Congress.
I Will Help Her Carry Her Burdens
Thursday, December 17th, 2009Mrs. Simon was standing over the skillet, stirring potatoes, tears streaming down her face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I’m just so tired,” she said quietly, looking at the skillet. I knew what the word “tired” meant. It wasn’t just physical. It was being a new Mom; it was working 60+ hours at a job in a company where the Sword of Damocles belongs in the logo. It was mental bankruptcy accompanied by spiritual overdraft.
She wasn’t even cooking our dinner. It was something for the office potluck the next day.
I took over stirring the potatoes. I hugged her. It was all I could do.
This morning Mrs. Simon’s face betrayed a silent tear as she made coffee. She had not slept in our bed and I wondered if it was my fault.
“Did I snore?”
“Yes.”
She couldn’t afford to miss sleep with my buzz saw going all night, so she had slept in the baby’s room.
I felt pretty lousy about that, even if it wasn’t exactly my fault.
Her department at work is in the middle of a massive reorganization. She’s already doing the work of several people, and it looks as if that situation will worsen. If she’s lucky it will remain static, but that is in doubt. She can’t quit—my job working for Mr. Waturi couldn’t begin to cover our bills. She’s stuck. We’re stuck. Factor in the requirements of the Silly Season, a husband frustrated by his career plus worries over her mother’s chronic health problems and you have a very stressed out Mrs. Simon.
Don’t get me wrong–she’s one of the strongest people I know; but our strength fails even the best of us sometimes.
Our morning routine usually involves Mrs. Simon performing most of the actions needed to get the baby ready, then taking her to daycare. I pick the baby up on the way home from work and feed her. This was a morning when perhaps we should switch.
“A lot going on?” I knew there were plenty of things “going on” at her office. Always were. These things were usually stressful and full of malarkey.
“I have a meeting at 8 o’clock.”
“Then I’ll take her to the daycare,” I said.
The relief in her eyes was good to see. I hugged her.
“I’m your partner, you know—not one of your kids,” I said. “If you need help, if there’s something I can do, you just tell me. God knows you’ve pulled my ass out of enough stressful situations.”
She nodded, wiped her eyes, blew her nose, and poured some coffee. Though still very stressed, I think I saw her face brighten a little.
If my wife is tired, I am damn well going to help carry her burdens.
I always will. I will also work harder to make sure she knows that.